My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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