Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
