I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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