the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we're making bets on your personal life
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
