margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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