If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
