mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
