I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
