just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
