Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
