32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
