Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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