Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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