Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
