We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
