dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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