dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Your mouth is God's brothel.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
