im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
