Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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