nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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