Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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