go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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