I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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