I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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