DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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