Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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