There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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