It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
