This is not my ceiling
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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