Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
