My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
