She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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