he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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