I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
