Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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