its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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