First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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