I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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