And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
