your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
