Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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