It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
