i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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