Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
