The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my shit smells like andre
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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