Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
