He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
