Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
