once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
