She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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