My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
